Comments on: The Three Stages of Aging

By: Alan Shusterman

Alan Shusterman — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 16:36:30 +0000

Magdi,
What a beautiful description. Thank you so much.
Alan

By: Magdi Badawy

Magdi Badawy — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:13:03 +0000

The other day, I was out for a walk with two dear friends. We are in our early sixties or so.
It was a lovely day, full of vibrant fall colors.
As we were walking along the edge of the lake, two young teenagers were walking towards us.
As I glanced at them, it hit me that I am these teenagers walking towards these elderly people.
At the same time the realization that ‘there is no age’ became vibrant.
I laughed.
It is so wonderful to realize that awareness has no age.
Only thought (and the body) have age.
Do you see what I mean?
Magdi

By: Alan Shusterman

Alan Shusterman — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 01:17:27 +0000

I think your approach is wise. Maybe overly hopeful, but who can say how much hope is ever the right amount?

I like what you said about “making choices”, but I’ll add a word of caution, we can choose what path to take, but we can rarely choose where it will lead. During the last few years when my mother was in senior housing, I met many many “patchwork” people. One person had lost functions X and Y. Another had X, but had lost Z. And so it went down one side of the bingo table and up the other. Alert people who couldn’t leave their wheelchairs. Senile diabetics with perfect hearing and balance. It slowly dawned on me how important it was to make healthy choices, but how little “control” these choices would actually give me.

I share your hope that the boomers (and I belong to the tail end of the boomer generation) will “create options”, but who knows? What will my retirement funds be worth after the great mass of boomers have sold off all of their stocks and bonds? What kind of health-care services will be available? Current signs aren’t promising. Gerontologists are a disappearing breed and medical schools are closing gerontology programs. The number of nurses continues a several decade decline. Interestingly, we have more veterinarians, and they perform more and more higher-end procedures, every year. Perhaps I’ll be waiting in line with Fido to see my doctor?

By: Julie Forbes

Julie Forbes — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 20:33:59 +0000

Such a provacative subject — the stages of aging.
One thing I have become more clear about is due to the recent experience I have had accompanying one of my 87 year-old friends through a recent illness and death this month. As I supported her in this process, questions arose for myself as to how I want to live as I age.

I’m at the beginning of this aging segment, not quite 50 years old. However, I recognize that I can begin to make choices about how I will live as I age and these choice may make a significant difference in my quality of life. Acknowledging that the bulk of my aging process will be out of my control, there are still many aspects that I can influence: do I want to live independently or as part of a supportive community (or ideally some combination of those)?; how do I want to be cared for if I become ill and need medical care?; at the end of my life, what can I do to ensure a minimum of suffering (i.e. hospice)?; what is the best way to communicate these choices so that they will be honored (i.e. healthcare directives)?

As I proceed, I have a feeling that the baby boomer generation ahead of me will create options for living a high-quality of life as we age that don’t exist yet. Still, my ability to stay aware of what is true in my life and live my choices authenically is up to me! Although it is a bit daunting to think about, it is also a great opportunity.

I look forward to reading more from you, Lew, and others who comment.

With Metta,
Julie Forbes

By: lewrich

lewrich — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 00:23:53 +0000

Thanks for everyone’s comments. I’m glad you are also not ready, John. good to have both sides. And Darlene, a wonderful “typo” when you say “but am sacred how will I be when…”. Sacred and scared. Probably a little of both! It’s ok. And good point, Alan, that as we age we look back at our children’s generation–that is an important aspect.

By: Laurie

Laurie — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 23:10:17 +0000

I would also like to comment on our relationship with young people. I’ve always had friends in many age ranges: I am 56 and one of my best friends is about to turn 80 and another just turned 40. I met the first when she was my age and the second when she was 21. What I’m noticing now is that people younger than about 45 no longer seem to want to make friends with this white haired “old lady”. Sometimes I feel like while I’m treated with politeness, there is not much of a true connection. I am sad about that. I like the energy and ideas of people younger than myself and think I will miss that as I go further along my aging path.

By: Laurie

Laurie — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 23:02:19 +0000

Perfect! LOL

By: PattyE

PattyE — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 14:25:25 +0000

I’m so glad you’re laughing! I from the first group. It helps.

By: Darlene

Darlene — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 12:02:27 +0000

Thank You all for sharing, I’m 62 years old and watching my husband who is sick with dealing with many medical problems and wonder how I would deal if I had all those problems? I’m looking at my own aging process and wonder or more like sacred about my own end. I seem to look at whatever comes my way for everyone else; but am sacred how will I be when it’s my turn to accept my dying and ill health? I want to be free and not scared.

Darlene

By: Rico Provasoli

Rico Provasoli — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 02:06:57 +0000

What you focus on expands……Anonymous

Buddhism has been my solitary sidekick since 1966.
My body is breaking down.
If I were a used car, I wouldn’t buy me.
I wouldn’t even take me for a test drive.

Practice.
The constant in my life.
Focus on the gap between the manic mind generating thoughts faster than waves breaking on the beach in a gale.

Practice.
Oh, yes….
The thoughts have their own momentum.
I observe, let go.

Practice.
Oh, yes…
This body’s systems require more medical support.
Oh, I remember that I am the awareness observing this carnival ride. Don’t grip the seat. Breathe, enjoy, breathe.

Practice.
Dear ones are born with my DNA, my grandchildren carry on.
Dear ones die. They become my ancestors.
Breathe. There is only life living life. Nothing personal, folks.

Gassho.