Well, after spending many weeks exploring the Five Great Fears of Buddhism and of aging, I thought it might be time for a more upbeat theme. How about the Five Great Joys of aging? I don’t know of a succinct Buddhist teaching like this comparable to the Five Great Fears (Buddhism tends to focus on the dark side of existence, because that is wha
t ego avoids) but I’m sure we can come up with some Joys.
To begin with, and to borrow the title of Ram Dass’ book after he had the stroke that left him half paralyzed—how about Still Here? Ego doesn’t necessarily get all that exited about still being here, since that’s its baseline ho-hum condition (to be!), but to be forty or fifty or sixty or seventy is already to have beat the odds. Just to have a human body is to have beat the odds. Buddhism does have a beautiful teaching about this. Imagine, it says, that there is a lonely turtle in the sea, with one eye in its stomach, that wants to see the sun. But it swims face down, and it can’t. Imagine that in the whole ocean there is one board with a hole in it, just the size so that the turtle can turn over and grab the board, put its eye through the hole, and see the sun. That, Buddhism says, is about the odds of being born into a human body.
So that’s good, I think. It’s also good to have been born in the twentieth century, when the life expectancy finally got over fifty. If you are over fifty today, in any previous century odds are you would be dead. So that’s good too.
Now think of all the near misses you have had in your life. Childhood accidents, illnesses, mistakes, drunken or stoned stupidies that nearly did you in, and so forth. Feeling happier to still be here? Ram Dass did, and still does.
So let’s call “Still Here” the First Great Joy of aging.
Incidentally, a piece of personal news: Aging as a Spiritual Practice is now on its way to being a book, to be published in Spring, 2012 by Gotham Books, a division of the Penguin Group. The full title is Aging as a Spiritual Practice: A Contemplative Guide to Growing Older and Wiser. This blog formed the genesis and foundation of the book proposal, and all of you helped. So thank you all, and stay tuned as the book begins to take shape.
You are always welcome as a new beginning, in that what we become at the ending creates a new beginning, in all ways, as we go through the suffering we create alone.
My son has something to show me… a tree outside. So I have to go, to grow.
My joy in aging is that I no longer have to prove myself. After my early retirement I had a brief moment when I thought that I should be sharing my ‘talents’ with the world. Then I thought, no, there are lots of young people out there who have pep and energy to take on social issues (the kind of thing that I get involved in) and it is their turn to ‘cut their teeth’ in these endeavors. I take leadership roles in various areas, since this is a function that comes easily to me, and look for opportunities for practice. As the Chair of my condo strata council, I’ve been looking for opportunities to use kindness as the best approach in resolving difficulties and differences. I’ve also lost the need to be “in charge”. I guide, direct, and act as timekeeper. I watch how things develop and have had lots of pleasant surprises!
dream: woke up hearing “sea animal”–first thoughts were sweetly hazy and curious …feeling ready to draw, sketch. materialize title into dream-art journal….reviewed the dream itself, a snipppet, as follows: lone swimmer thythmiclly australian crawling north up the ganges river seemingly against the flow.. center stream swimming past ceremonial-appearing white marble staircase..wide steps. even strokes harmonizing
w/watersounds against riversidemarble platform or stage .
Never, ever expected to live til age 69 and so happy that I have. Irregardless of emotional and physical ailments of the past, financial uncertainty of the present, I go out and take photographs and display them. Have a wonderful group of artist friends whom I emotionally support as I can.
Feeling spiritually fit after having dropped so much of that baggage. Yes! L’Chaim!
Every Morning I open my eyes and think “still here” Now 71 I feel lucky to still be here. Many of my acquaintances, family and friends are not. I’m lucky to be able to sit with only moderate knee pain. I’m lucky in not yet feeling the ravages of arthritis or any major health problem. I know that is coming, but in the meantime I have a lot to work on.
Hi all,
Funny how everyone seems surprised that they are still here…. Maybe I shouldn’t, but I am expecting to live until 85 or so! Of course, I take that one day at a time!
Peggy Barott
I am still playing with my life, my 4 kids, their 7 children and many wonderful friends, my EDZ sangha, my work practice which I still love…….
I am ” aquainting” myself with the realities of the body aging and trying to be most gentle with myself.
I am actually living and thriving with Aging as my Spiritual Practice which can be both challenging and rich with opportunities for practice
I will soon be 74 !!
Still here
joy
life blood of how I am-
still here.
joy comes,
warmth in my heart,
readily,
upon affection for others.
radiating,
generous deeds.
blossom,
love and kindness
rested
by equanimity.
Still here.
again breath comes
wind horse of blood and bones
precious,
wonder of life
enlivening
this fragile house
still here
joy
life blood of how I am still here.
Lewis, congratulations on your book progress. I definitely want to read it when it comes out. And thanks for the first great joy of aging: still being here. As I continue in meditation practice, I grow more and more cognizant of and grateful for that simple fact. Thank you for the reminder of the miracle of life here and now. May your path to publication be smooth and swift.
Reb Zalman came to speak at the workshop I attended over the weekend in Boulder, CO As each decade has passed I have met exemplars of what healthy aging could look like; he is one of the most inspiring. Perhaps you could feature stories on how sucessful eldering might appear.